Category Archives: Humor

The Sequestration Apocalypse is Upon Us! The End of The World Caused by Minuscule Decrease In Increase! Be Very Afraid!

The zombie, uh,I mean sequestration apocalypse will not eat your brain and destroy all of humanity.

The DIS-information machine (aka the us media and government mouthpieces) are certain that decreasing the rate of increase to American government spending will probably kill us all. Yes, we are a country that thinks that “cutting the budget” means just spending slightly less than we were scheduled to, but still spending more than we did in the past.

Some have called this unconstitutional. Spending increases are not protected by the Constitution. Click here to see what “Constitutional” and “Unconstitutional” actually mean. They aren’t just arbitrary words with no real definition that politicians can use to refer to anything they like or dislike. 

5 Sequester Facts to Know Before Committing Suicide:

What is A Sequester and How Did It Get Here?

When referring to the government, a sequester is basically a self-imposed deadline for a certain action that has consequences, if it is not met. For instance, if you said to yourself, “If I don’t lose 15 pounds by summer, I’m not going to go to the beach on vacation.”, it would be roughly the same idea.

In this case, however, it is government spending that is being changed. The numbers are so enormous in the United States budget that it’s easier to break them down as they would look in a normal, household budget.

The actual numbers are just too large for most people to wrap their mind around:

Let’s just remove 8 zeros from each and pretend it’s a household budget:

  • Annual family income: $29,000
  • Money the family will spend: $38,000
  • New debt on the credit card: $9000
  • Outstanding household debt: $175,000
  • Proposed sequester budget cuts: $855

FURTHERMORE:  The CBO estimates only $44 billion of the BCA’s “cuts” will be implemented in 2013.

So the NEW household budget will probably actually end up looking more like this:

  • Annual family income: $29,000
  • Money the family will spend: $38,000
  • New debt on the credit card: $9000
  • Outstanding household debt: $175,000
  • The actual proposed sequester budget cuts for 2013: $440

sequester cuts

As Travis Thornton put it on his

Putting the cuts into perspective, as George Will did in his article this weekend, $85 billion from a $3.6 trillion budget, or 2.3%, is minuscule. The “draconian” cuts merely return us to 2006 levels.

The Sequestration Isn’t Going to Kick Off The Apocalypse 

sequester and the zombie apocalypse I would tell you if I thought it was going to. But the numbers just aren’t there. It’s a very modest cut IN GROWTH of spending. Yes, there are adjustments that might have to be made, but they aren’t the type that cause civilizations to collapse. Actually, I’m not sure that spending CUTS have actually ever caused civilizations to collapse, but OVERSPENDING, on the other hand, was a contributing factor to the fall of Rome.

(Rome was the greatest civilization known to man at that time)

(Anyone remember Rome?)… (No?)… (*crickets*)… (OK. Never mind…)

Back to the Apocalyptic Sequestration Scenario

Look, We can SAY that we think that the government should cut spending, but they have to cut it SOMEWHERE. So where is a good place to start? Where would you start in your own household if you spent every year more than you made and had to keep putting it on a credit card and were getting to the point where the constant bills were overwhelming you?

Would you decide to ignore it because you didn’t want to deal with it today? Would you go:

“Oh well. Bankruptcy doesn’t happen, and if it did, I would just deal with it later. I’ll pretend like I could never lose my house and my car because:

“Today, I really need to get my “hair did” and may nails done and I need a tiny poodle and a tiny jacket for it and it needs it’s hair did too and a manicure and a tiny purse to get carried in and I should buy a new car to match that…”


Someone is going to have to cut something some-WHERE. What’s going to give?


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